Sunday, July 29, 2012

Behold a Golden Couch



It started with a single cushion propped up against a tree at the side of the world. Like a herald signaling that something was approaching from a short distance.  




So over the last few days I've had another birthday woosh by. But the universe is kind and during this time I have also stumbled over a parade of abandoned couches. 


And you, my regular visitors, know how much I love the beautiful ennui of the abandoned couch. 


The first one I spotted was on state highway one in Foxton (the foxy town). I almost kept driving but in the end I backtracked to snap off a few shots. 







While I was busy clicking off shots this the owner of the house came out - a large woman in her dressing gown - and I asked me what I was doing. To be honest it was a difficult to explain. I just feel compelled to capture them on film. Like the lifespan of the mayfly or the blossoming of the mighty rotting corpse lily the existence of the abandoned couch is fleeting. 


I have discovered that if I don't photograph them the minute I see them they will be gone. I might think to myself "I'll take the picture on my way back" but by the time I return the couch will always have vanished. Having mysteriously moved on to the haberdashery graveyard. 


The next couch I spotted was in Auckland, hidden down a road I very rather travel. Across the street from the house of a woman I once kissed and then never kissed again.  











Finally the last couch appeared outside the church hall in Kingsland where they have the Craftbomb fairs.





There was a pretty spectacular FREE sign on this one. 




As J. Alfred Prufrock measured his life in coffee spoons maybe I am measuring my life in abandoned furniture. Which begs the question - am I documenting them or are they documenting me? 


"It is better for you to be free of fear lying upon a pallet, than to have a golden couch and a rich table and be full of trouble." - Epicurus. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Without Suit. With Suit.


So recently I was writing a piece for M2 magazine about Batman. I was keen to put in some info about the famous Bat suit. So I did a web search. In the course of my investigations I discovered not a Bat suit but a Banana suit.

This very funny sales pitch from a company that sold banana suits.


Not only is it genuinely hilarious but it's probably the best piece of advertising I've ever seen.

It occurred to me that this would lend itself to a fine piece of cross-pop-cultural-pollination.

So here is my humble addition to the great debate.



Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dr Grodbort needs your Vote!



Hi all, sorry to come pleading but the little film I made with the Design School needs your vote. Please give us your time and the precious clicking of your voting finger on your keyboard. Tell your friends and family it'd be great to get this lot the recognition they deserve!

My love and undying respect in advance.

How and you can vote each day. So get click happy.

Vote for DR. GRODBORT PRESENTS: THE DEADLIEST GAME by clicking this link HERE.

Vote for DAS TUB but clicking this link HERE.

Read all about it HERE. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

How I became an internet phenomenon and fell victim to one of the inherent dangers of time travel.


TRAVEL THROUGH TIME THEY SAID. 
IT'LL BE FUN THEY SAID

Hello my friends. Those of you that know me well will be aware that I like to amuse myself with various projects. Be it buying hubcaps, burning books, weighting junk mail, photographing abandoned couches, recording my drunken travels and, of course, making clocks.

One of these projects has involved some time travel. Here I'll let my Facebook status explain...


This was what we call in the pranking business - the long game. Now My chum Tom thought this was a jolly lark so he posted it to reddit.


And there my silly little distraction sat. However there was something about this jape that attracted peoples attention.


He wasn't wrong. It was going crazy.


Some of the comments are hilarious here are just a few of my favorites.


And some more.


Then I realized that I would need to supply video evidence of this for the hungry internet. One thing we've learnt the last thing you want to piss off was the internet.

So I decided to start getting ready for the big day. I had my helmet, a video camera and a friend to record the event.

I was all set. I thought I better scout the venue. As my friends know I am something of a fixture in bars so I didn't want to risk spoiling my gag by walking back into the bar before the 5th. It had to be a bar I wouldn't wander into in the year between appearances.

So I picked a bar I didn't frequent.

Sadly it turns out I wasn't the only one who didn't frequent this bar...






I had forgotten one of the main rules of time travel.

Time marches on.

Time - the fire in which we burn - had moved on. The bar had gone under and was being refurbished. I felt like Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes. Or Bruce Willis' son in the Butterfly effect.

We forget when we try to troll time - time might just troll us back.

I am very sorry to the internet I have let you down. However I'm taking this as a test drive. I've made some mistakes and I can see some room for improvement. In fact I am going to overhaul this project and turn it into something that doesn't just take a year to execute instead I'm pepper the joke across a year. I might need some help doing this.

So any one up for a spot of time travel?  

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Crooked Line I Walk


So I was at my friend James' house watching the final episode of The Almighty Johnsons.

Much fun and hilarity was had. And much booze drunken.

Drunken being the operative word.

Now I know James has been a fan of my drunken walks home and the photographs I invariably take on these stumbling journeys. So I'm sure he will be delighted to know that a party at his home has initiated yet another of my crooked paths.

Usually I don't get to see these pictures until the next day so I have no answers for you as to why these images took my fancy - they just do.

Drunken Nick, it seems, fancies himself as a bit of a photographer. He isn't he's a monstrous bore who always leaves the bathroom in a terrible state and has an unquenchable appetite for kebabs.

So here, once again for your enjoyment, yet another of my drunken strolls...